we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
