I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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