Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
