Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
