you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
