If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
