Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize