what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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