Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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