champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
