3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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