Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
