How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
