He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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