i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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