u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
