My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
