I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
