Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize