She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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