Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
