Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
