if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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