after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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