Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
