did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
