We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
