Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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