Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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