I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
