Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
