If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How does it feel to date your dad?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
