Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
