he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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