don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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