It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
