Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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