; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
