Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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