She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
