i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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