And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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