everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
