why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
