You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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