Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
