..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize