ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
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