i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
