sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
