You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
