I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
