miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize