Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Randomize
