When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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