I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
