he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
