Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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