my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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