you will always have a special place in my vag
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
